Homecoming Argument
by MyNameIsJeffNImLost
Summary: Sam is home. Jack is mad. Sam doesn't know what she did wrong. Then again, maybe she didn't do anything wrong. What's more fun than an irrational Jack? Written for Shipsgiving 2011.


A/N: I saw the Shipsgiving 2011 stories being posted and was inspired to finally write this story I thought of a while back. It is set post-SG-1, SGA and SGU.

Disclaimer: Nobody else owns anything here, so why would I?

Disclaimer 2: No beta. Why would I sucker/obligate/subject anyone into reading this when they didn't want to? However, if you send me corrections, I'll fix them.

_Homecoming Argument_

**XXXXXXXX**

Jack was quiet. Too quiet.

Sam was worried. Normally he was happier to see her. But after a brief reaction of surprise and a quick smile, his mood had quickly soured to what could be described as surly. This was not the homecoming she was hoping for. Now that they were virtually alone in the back of the car from his service, he was practically ignoring her. She needed to put a stop to this silent treatment. Unfortunately, she had no idea what she did wrong.

Also unfortunately, she thought wryly, this wasn't like the last time they had been alone in this car. If it were, by now he would have his tongue down her throat and a hand up her shirt. During that trip, they spent the entire ride with the partition up so the driver wouldn't gawk at them making out. That was a much more pleasant memory than this one was shaping up to be. Tinted and bullet proof windows were useful for more than safety. By now they should at least be helping each other out of their dress blues.

"Jack," Sam prompted. He turned sharply with a focused glare-the kind of glare that almost had her gulping and switching to, 'Sir'. Maybe that was it. "I didn't call you 'Jack' in the meeting, did I? I thought I was using Sir and General, but I'm sorry if I slipped up."

Jack's face was impassive. "Of course not. You really don't know what you did. Do you?"

Sam honestly didn't know. She thought back to the past few hours. She was late to the meeting at the Pentagon, but everyone was very gracious about accepting her excuse. It's not like she knew her attendance had been requested by the Joint Chiefs until five minutes before she arrived. She had even been in orbit when the meeting started. During the meeting, she had been helpful and respectful. A lot of questions were directed her way, but she answered everything efficiently and the meeting managed to finish on schedule. She had even been invited to the follow-up meeting tomorrow. Jack should be thanking her for being willing to suffer at his side.

Jack sighed at her bewildered expression. "You completely undermined my authority today. They will never respect me again."

'Oh, great', Sam thought as she recognized his new look. He's not surly. He's sulking. She reached over and raised the partition so Jack's driver wouldn't see them. As she slid back into her seat, she casually took one of his hands in hers and squeezed. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize. What exactly did I do?" Her voice was contrite, with a little bit of sexy thrown into the mix. She was going to have to patronize him.

Jack scrunched his face, as he knew exactly what she was doing. Normally he had no defense, not since the days when he stopped being her CO. This time, however, he was going to do everything in his power to stand his ground. Of course that didn't stop him from pulling her closer into his side. "Well, how about what you told everyone about the budget priorities?"

Sam knew for certain he was being unreasonable. They had discussed this exact topic of X-304 vs. SGC resources and generator vs. weapons research money last week. She knew they were in complete agreement. She even took the strategic part of her answer from Jack. "I don't understand. I just relayed everything we discussed in our status call last week. Did you change your mind?"

"No. In fact I told them exactly the same thing five minutes before you joined the meeting." Jack for some reason didn't sound happy about that.

"So what's the problem?" Sam asked.

"I told them _exactly_ the same thing... except… you got the technical terms right, and I didn't."

Sam was completely impressed with herself for managing to hold in her laugh. "I'm sure the Joint Chiefs and the IOA reps didn't know the difference."

"Are you kidding?" Jack protested. "Everyone knows you didn't mess up the names of the doohickies, so they know I messed them up. Also, since you said the same thing I did, except correctly, everyone is going to think I got my plans from you."

Sam felt she should be a little offended by that, but decided to give him an out. "We did discuss the priorities and came to a consensus. They should know we would say the same thing."

"See that's where you're wrong," Jack asserted. "All of the men in that room were married or divorced. They all now think I am taking marching orders from my wife."

Oh. That was the real problem. The general in charge of Homeworld Security had the appearance of taking his marching orders from his wife. It doesn't matter that the wife in question is a high-ranking, highly decorated officer with more Stargate and space experience than anyone on the planet. Now Sam knew she _should _be offended. But instead, she decided to have some fun with this. She bit her lip to appear to be holding in a smile. "I see. What about the women in the meeting?"

"They _know _I am taking orders from my wife." It wasn't true, of course. Jack and Sam always had a respectful working relationship, even after their marriage. But that didn't make Jack's current unreasonable attitude any less fun.

"Women respect a man who can follow orders," Sam teased. "And to think when we married, we were worried about what people would think of the promotions I earned under your command. We really should have been worried about the third star that you earned after we were married. Maybe people think you only got it because of me. Now that the cat is out of the bag, how will you_ ever _earn that fourth?" Sam wasn't even trying to hold in her smirk. It was a smirk worthy of an O'Neill.

"Caaaarrr-ter. Just because you are getting your first star next week doesn't mean you can tease your superior officers."

Sam smiled at the mention of her upcoming promotion. She knew it made Jack proud, despite his current protests. She also loved the idea of another General Carter carrying on the family legacy. She knew her father would have been even more proud than Jack. The promotion had all kinds of other great benefits, like the next two weeks in D.C while she helped Landry set up the new Fleet Command Office he would be heading. More importantly, they would be transitioning the SGC to her command. While she loved the _Hammond_, command of the SGC would mean she would be closer to Jack. No more long deployments.

"I'll try to remember that," Sam said with a tone that was clearly insubordinate. She pressed a kiss to his jaw. She loved it the way he called her Carter sometimes. It was like his pet name for her that could be used in mixed company. And Jack knew how much she loved it. Maybe he was coming around. Something else bothered her, though. "Jack, what I don't understand is why you were glaring at me from almost the moment I walked into the meeting. I was fully expecting that look you have when you are undressing me with your eyes. I was not expecting the cold glare."

Jack huffed and released her hand. Sam's momentary thought that she shouldn't have said anything was relinquished when he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her even closer.

After a moment in which Sam decided she wasn't going to get a straight answer, Jack started, "Do you remember the excuse you gave about why you were late?"

Sam hesitated. What was wrong with her excuse? "I told them I had just found out about the meeting. I was late beaming down because I was overseeing the deployment of the new satellite from the _Hammond_."

"Exactly."

"So what's wrong with that?" Sam asked.

"The satellite was for the orbital ring platform."

"Yes."

"That platform will serve as an intermediary station for Ring transports between the new DHWS office in D.C. and the SGC."

Sam's forehead crinkled in confusion. Jack was trying to lead her somewhere only his warped logic would understand. The satellite was the first of several that were going to be deployed over the next few months, once the Earth-side platforms could be secured. It would have been deployed months ago, but the lower SGC levels were too deep to get a ring lock. A more secure area had to be dug closer to the surface, independent of NORAD. "I know," Sam said impatiently. "So what's the problem with that?"

"Don't you realize what that looks like?"

Sam was lost. When Jack saw her confused expression, he continued, "It looks like the first thing you did after transferring back to Earth is to set up a transport system between our respective postings so you can come over for booty calls!"

Sam couldn't help it. She snorted. Then she giggled. And giggled some more. After a half minute, she calmed down enough and pulled herself together. "Jack, since you obviously think that they think you are taking orders from me, wouldn't they think _you_ are coming to _me_ for these booty calls?"

Jack started to groan, but Sam stopped him by capturing his lips with hers. He responded enthusiastically. He might be mad at her (for no good reason), but he still hadn't seen her, except in their regular video calls, for over a month. The hand that was sliding up her thigh indicated that maybe he was starting to think that getting mad about the perception of hypothetical booty calls was not really important. She had just started to slide her hand between the buttons on his shirt when he suddenly withdrew his hand and pulled back. "I can't believe I almost let you do that," he protested.

Sam didn't seem to care, as she leaned towards him again, grabbing a lapel. Jack wasn't having it, so he grabbed Sam by both shoulders, squaring her a safe distance across the back seat from him. "Not now, Sam. Please let me finish being mad at you in the car so we can continue what we were just doing when we get home."

Sam groaned in protest, but nodded her head anyway. Best to charge through the problem, she decided, so she offered a counter-argument. "You know, Jack, some of the people there didn't make the connection. Those who did should know us well enough to know that we kept our hands to ourselves for eight years (ignoring viruses, mind stamps, and time loops), so we would never abuse government resources in that way. Especially considering our system is much more secure than what the Goa'uld used, with each transport being logged with a DNA scan. Don't they know we have Asgard stones anyway?"

Jack looked sheepish. "I might have written an official record of our possession of alien device and then promptly classified it. Thor left them for us personally, so I figured they are none of anyone's business."

Sam agreed that it was no one else's business. Also, considering how groups like the Trust had a history of targeting her and Jack, she liked having a quick getaway plan. The new ring transport system would be a good cover for anyone who didn't check the logs too closely.

Of course Sam had to tease Jack again. "I guess you are right. Then, it's actually a good thing that they know I'm finishing up with the rings. If they know I might be around at any time, I won't have to work too hard to mark my territory." Jack just covered his face with his free hand, the other having been easily reclaimed by Sam.

Sam knew her husband well enough to know there had to be something else. "What else did I accidently do to piss you off, Jack?"

Sam started to slowly inch back to his side. By the time she reached her previous spot under Jack's arm, he confessed, "It wasn't something you did. It's just... Now that everyone knows how sweet and beautiful and wonderful you are..."

Sam smiled into Jack's chest and started to nuzzle her way up towards his neck. If she had anything to say about it, they would get a head start on their homecoming activities in the back seat of the car. "What is it, Jack?" she breathed across his neck.

Jack was clearly becoming affected as his voice was strained, "I'll never be able to use one of my trump cards again."

"What trump card is that?" Sam whispered as she worked her way up to his ear.

"Uh... well... that... they have to do what I say because my wife has the biggest honking space gun this side of the Ori galaxy."

Sam jerked back. "What? You can't be serious!" Her mouth remained slightly open in shock.

"Well, I haven't put it exactly that way."

"But you've put it close enough."

"Close enough. You do have the reputation as someone who has blown up a sun. I'll have you know that telling people my wife has her finger on the trigger and takes orders from me..." Jack hesitated because of the glare he was getting from that same wife. "It works really well on the IOA," he said in a rush. "They are scared of you after how I reacted from the Atlantis debacle."

Sam growled quietly, "They should be."

Jack continued, "A couple of the people in that meeting only have their positions because I scared their predecessors into transferring to alternate jobs in the IOA."

Sam didn't know whether to be insulted, surprised or just pleased. Of course she should have known Jack would do anything to defend her honor. Actually, she was a little turned on. Of course that could be because they were just a few minutes from home. "Well, it doesn't matter now. Next week, Cam will be in charge of the galaxy's biggest space gun-"

"But you will be in charge of a whole slew of SG teams, ready to follow your every whim." Jack smiled, proud of his plan and his wife.

Sam returned the sexy smile. "My every whim, huh? And of course you will still be my _superior_ officer."

Jack's smile dropped slightly. "But you shot that plan to hell today. Now everyone will think that I can't really order you around and that you are too nice to attack them with highly trained SG teams armed with P-90s and zats."

Sam had had enough of this ridiculous argument, and the car was pulling to a stop in front of their Alexandria home. "Don't worry. If anyone pisses off my husband, I've got his six. Now how about you quit your sulking, take me inside, and give me a proper homecoming?" She pecked him on the cheek, quickly opened the door, and got out of the car with her large duffle.

Jack grinned and followed her. "Yes, ma'am."


End file.
